Lai-See: 

Also called Hong-Bao. It means that money is placed in red envelopes and given to children and young adults at New Year’s time, much in the spirit as Christmas presents. Very happy that I got Lai-see this year from Maria, my boss George's older sister, although I got nothing from her brother.

Pray Buddha:

The first and 15th days of New Year are good days to pray Buddha, so I go to Nantian Temple today and pray for good fortune and health.

* Safety candle light---pray whole family safety in New Year

* Burn joss sticks---say hello to Buddha

* Kowtow---make a wish

Food

I have dumpling and lobster on New Year's Eve.

Lion Dance

Did I disappoint you or let you down? Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown? 'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun, Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.

So I took what's mine by eternal right. Took your soul out into the night. It may be over but it won't stop there, I am here for you if you'd only care.

You touched my heart you touched my soul. You changed my life and all my goals. And love is blind and that I knew when, my heart was blinded by you.

I've kissed your lips and held your head. Shared your dreams and shared your bed. I know you well, I know your smell. I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake, You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take. And as you move on, remember me, Remember us and all we used to be。

I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile. I've watched you sleeping for a while. I'd be the father of your child. I'd spend a lifetime with you.

I know your fears and you know mine. We've had our doubts but now we're fine, And I love you, I swear that's true. I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine. In mine when I'm asleep. And I will bear my soul in time, when I'm kneeling at your feet.

Goodbye my lover. Goodbye my friend. You have been the one. You have been the one for me.

 
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow. I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

Currently I am suspicious of having melancholic by some symptoms such as insomnia, humorsome and indescribable fear. Nothing seems to make me happy even the most joyful events seem empty and have no meaning to me.

I search the website and get the symptoms description: the disappearance of appetite, severe weight loss, and a terrible problem getting any sleep.

You turn on TV but can't watch, pick up a book but can't read, try soothing music but feel irritated by it. You return to bed-but toss, turn, and fret in the endless hours before dawn. As the sun rises, you begin pacing around the apartment but feel no relief or comfort and finally go back to bed. Your mind is filled with self-criticism, ruminations, catastrophization, and worries. 

Oops! Do I have mental illness? That should be caused by long-term self oppression. But it is good thing that you all right when you are aware of some health problems with you. What can I do? Go back to China…suicide… murder… shouting on the beach…

The urgent thing is to let myself busy so that no time to worry. Hope the course I am going to have next week can help me out.

I want to call Saturday ‘wedding day’ because I am able to see several new couples with wedding dress take photos as long as I work on Saturday. Last Saturday there were four couples showing their fantastic time in front of me. I guess that should be happiest moment to them. But a question comes to me, ‘Do they get their real Mr. or Ms. Right?’

Needless to say, everyone hope to find their real one that can spend the rest of their lives. What criterion for your Mr. or Ms. Right? How can you meet them or find them? Why do you finally determine the one is your real Mr. or Ms. Right? ......

Type one: for money

Whether in China or in OZ, a kind of common phenomenon is that people want to be married with a rich one especially happens to women. No surprise to this fact. Anyone expects to have easygoing life which based on economic condition you have. Ladies are fascinated by PRADA, CD, CHANEL, CUGGI and ARMANI, VERSACE YSL are men’s adoration. Every family expects to have house with sea view, beautiful yacht, latest Benz and overseas trip every Xmas days. You like, he likes, and so do I. Then actress marries to business icon’s son, female secretary chooses her boss, female singer settle herself to politician……Saying goes ’A successful man is one who can make more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find this man’ most woman want to be that sort of woman. But I would rather be one who can create a successful man than lifeloading one. Meanwhile, for man, Jack wives wealthy family’s daughter, he marries with business partner’s sister……Their fortune can be multiplied severalfold under this marriage match. You cannot point that it is wrong to be married for money. Something is somewhat difficult to say what is right or wrong.

Type two: for sex

Sex is human’s sheer instinct and necessity just like water and food. It is fairly difficult to control your sexuality. So many people enjoy one-night stands that bring them special horny and orgasm even the feelings you cannot describe. One of my girl friend in China had seven boyfriends within one and half year. She told me she could not control herself when she had desire to make love with the guy standing beside her. So there was no wonder when she told me she was divorced because she is a full-sex-desire dog.

In fact, man is a creature who can separate sex and love. They can make love just for it without real love in their hearts while women need sex after fall in love with someone. A man is one who can probably switch his girlfriend every week but he is likely to keep in mind an unforgettable sex experience he have had until he is going to die. In my opinion, maybe sex is more important than love in men’s eyes.   

Don’t distinguish with love and sex because they are inseparable. It will be stupid if you ask the question to your partner, ’you stay with me for love or sex?’ Believe it sex is just like catalyzer or chemical to your love even sex is good for your health. In addition, an increasing number of studies are finding the fact that regular sex life is beneficial to people’s longevity.       

Type three: for marriage

Many my girl friends who have been over 30 years are anxiously hunting their Mr. Right but fail to find anyone they like. Some disgusting neighbors or friends always look at them with temporal vision and suspect whether their health have some problems. Their parents are the most worried ones and size up a prospective mate in an arranged meeting again and again. Finally she can get married with a man who is matched for marriage. After that they begin normal family life, their love can be consolidated gradually through the life of husband and wife treat each other with the respect due to a guest. That is the mirror of our parents’ generation.

Type four: for passion

Can you remember Titanic love? It is really hard to figure out what is kind of love. On some occasion you love someone unconditionally. That is a feeling or passion. At that time all of lovers cannot sort out what they should do or where they are going. They are lost in thought and go their way, absolutely ignoring friend’s opposition and parents’ anger. The lovers finally live together after getting over obstacles most people cannot suffer at all, including giving up massive heritage, high social status, enviable job, and their bright future. The only thing they get is their love. No regrets for them when they split one day because they ever had incredible feeling experience in their lives. They would know what real love is. So go ahead and do what you want if you fall in love. Looking back is worthless. However, no one can predict how long their love will last. 1 year, 7years, 10 years……or all their life. Time can change things. To retain it longer, must try your best to keep it fresh and make great efforts on it.      

After all, everyone needs someone in life who cares about them. No matter what your love is or what situation you are, should you keep going as long as you know what’s driving your in your life and enjoy yourself whatever happens at the end, you can say ‘I did that’.

Now I don’t want to comment on what kind of love is better because love is very complexity, just talking about it with my shallow points.

Never provided any formal training about making flower, I’ve been sold flowers nearly two months. Incredible! With on-day training under the direction of Emma who has not learned any knowledge before just followed what our boss did. So we flower girls are all self-educated. What a shame that when I was asked how you could do it making flowers. What I can do now is to pretend to be professional in front of the customers and answer their questions on my own experiences accumulated before and now. Very funning thing is I use the skill I just got from former customer. Last Saturday, an artiest-appearing man wanted to buy a bunch of fragrant pink lily for gift, then I wrapped them with little tip got from Michill another self-study girl. He might make out I am not good at it, then took the ribbon off I just have done and let me cut one-meter-length ribbon again. Jesus! What is he doing? What will happen? Next, this charming guy showed me how to tie ribbon with an amazing way. Firstly, he tied the ribbon like a bowknot with two long tails (in fact I don’t know how to describe now). Subsequently he splits the each tie to three items which makes bowknot look bigger and more beautiful than before. No word I can say at that moment. Finally he scratches the bowknot’s long tails with the edge of scissors to get them curled. You can imagine that huge bowknot with curly strip. That’s stunning and fabulous. He gives me positive answer when I ask him whether he is an artiest come from Europe. Also His friend has a florist so he knows how to tie with different ways. ‘Will you charge me for what you have done for me?’ of course he won’t. I love this guy very much and he is my idol. Since then I always use the way he taught to tie doing customer service. When customers are shocked what I tied, I would like to tell them proudly how I learned it from a European artist. When can I see him again?   

Currently I am getting approved on how to make flowers gradually through constant practice, but some sorts of lessons occurred to me. A customer hopes to buy some flowers for his brother’s fiancée then I immediately give him suggestion that pink lily or white lily is good choice. ‘I think white lily is for death.’ He speaks to me with a smile. How embarrassed I am! I have to say, ‘Oh, sorry, maybe different culture between extern countries and western countries.’ actually those words cannot cover my perplexity at heart just let this customer believe I am not kidding. It is the first time that I know what occasion white lily should be presented. Nobody told me before. I believe I will never ever make this mistake. What I should do next straight away is to learn some knowledge on Internet to avoid this kind of embarrassment happens in times to come.

Now I am worrying whether the customer can treat me friendly when he or she gets my stupid suggestion. Horrible!

Several strange things happen to me. What day is today? This morning I go to post office to help Phillip send a mail to his Japanese friend, the embarrassing thing is the post shop staff speaks to me in Japanese at the time he lets me stick stamp. What is he saying? %#*?.....Japanese! He finally gets to know it I am not a Japanese girl from my confused expression. Then he explains he have thought I come from Japan because the addressee is a Japanese name. OK, that is not his fault. In the afternoon, a customer looks like a Japanese guy says hello to me in Japanese. I have to say hello in Japanese as well depending on limited Japanese words learned in selective course at high school. Oh, my god. What’s up? Today I haven’t put myself in special clothes similar to Japanese style. Anyway this was not the worst situation I have today. More shocked thing I come across is three local teenagers say sorry to me in Japanese when they get in my way on escalator. What’s wrong with them? Have nothing to say. I go crazy.

There is not a tiny clue on my body at all to make others believe I am a Japanese girl except my height. I’ve never ever heard any Japanese-appearing words spoke on my body. 90 percents Chinese don’t like Japanese with the deep hate from World War Two. What a shame is to be thought Japanese for most Chinese with patriotism. All right, forget it.   

Gweilao is called in Cantonese and well spread in western country actually most Chinese don’t have idea about this word and I’ve never known it before I came to Sydney. Many friends here here told me gweilao are lazy and men only know make love or drink while women like enjoying sunshine with bikini. It is likely to be a little bias for some ones who are making arduous efforts on their careers or their business goals just like Pierre. This morning what I saw proves the opinion above is a bit exaggerated. To cover Emma today’s morning shirt because of her disease, I have to get up 4:15AM despite 5-hours sleep after afternoon shift last night and leave home at 4:50., although being in sleepy, I surprisedly find the fact there are six houses’ lights being turned on along the way to train station. More unbelievable thing is the train carriage is half full of passengers. That is only 5:10AM before sunrising. How can we say gweilao are all slackers? Absolutely wrong!! Should do make a decision according to the facts not to all appearance.  Although there are do-nothings or scrums anywhere, I have to admit Sydney is not like what I have thought before when I look at it from other angle. But I have to say that migrations from different countries are playing important role more and more in developing this city because many different-looking persons in the train. That is to say, all of people whether native or not are busy as bees for life.   

I further realize that what development degree of a city is mostly related to the people’s quality, personality and values. You can’t hesitate New York is the most developed metropolis in the world if you look at the speed of local step there. The most important thing is the most excellent giants on the earth are swarming and squeezing into this big city to accelerate it development with higher pace. More developed it will be, more flowers of modern people come in. The way to think or work by people in a city stands for the spirit of city, predicting what the future is. What will it be in Sydney? What’s going on with me? Hope this city I am living can keep its characteristic beauty, nature, and friendship even not overstrain and overcompetition like New York. Actually local here are not only bustling in their work, also knowing how to enjoy life. After finding its brightness you will like it more despite you don’t know where you will go. Keep in mind, ‘My life is beautiful, my life is pure…. ‘        

As a flower girl, I really like this job especially happiness it brings. The bad thing is I cannot sit that is prohibited by our boss and go to toilet within 8 or 9 hours when working. In other words, no food, no drink, no seat at that time. It sounds a little bit inhuman treatment, but nothing we can do because only one looks after this outdoor florist every working shift. If the one left, the florist would lose money or flowers. So we flower girls are in multiple roles-sales, accountant, security, gardening and delivery. How great we are. It is normal for us to hear that, ’you lose weight’, ‘you are tanned’ ….well, good thing for girls. Unfortunately Emma is down with heart disease relapsed. She is so young and poor that I promise her to work of her shift this Thursday morning from 6:00AM to 2:00PM when she asks for help although I come back home at 10:30PM on Wednesday. Actually I am feeling painful as well.

I’ve never ever been afraid of any fatigue so my friends think I am strong in mental. Now a kind of tiredness I cannot describe comes to me, which is completely different from hardship I experienced. I remember once I went home at 3:00AM and continue working at 7:00AM, but I can keep anxiety and refresh on the morning of the next day. I used to be on business trip around China on continues weekends, usually work after10:00PM….but at that time I didn’t feel hollow although I was very tired. Now the circumstance looks different, I have to call it mental and physical difference. That is truth my mental situation hasn't changed in essence much with the change of a material situation. I would rather do something meaningful in my eyes than only fill my daily life by some sort of way. However since I decided to do it, should not give up. To make me like this job or keep doing, I try my best to look for any happy thing during I am working. Attitude determines action, action determines result. So force myself to keep smile whenever I work and I actively help customers as possible as I can. It is better to make up the physical strength overuse by some way pleased myself. Whatever this job is good experience in my life and probably one day I will find more worthy thing from it. Who knows? Alas! At least I am happy because I am working.

Despite of not a writer, I cannot hold back writing down something strange I met. The interesting thing is my BLOG is becoming flower-girl diary. The guy I met today makes me so confused but getting a fresh feeling. He is in 50s and buys a 15-dolloas bouquet, a bunch of gardenia and a bunch pink rose-then he asks me whether we can provide vase for him because he gets so many flowers. Unfortunately, we never have vase or base and give this sort of service -then I actively tell him that I can help him as much as possible even he needs delivery free since he lives not too long. In my mind, maybe he would pay me tips if I did it. He looks unbelievable probably there is no free lunch. Where he stays is about 100 meters away and I follow him with a little hope of getting tip to walk straight his apartment. That is the hotel just like World Tower where I worked as a room tender. I have thought he will let me go shortly after I put the flowers into his room. It is surprised he enquiries me how he could keep these flowers fresh and what flowers should be put where such as sitting-room or bedroom. I get to help him choose the only pottery-made vase for bouquet because its height is matched to this longest bunch which is suppose to set in the sitting-room. Besides it, we use the glassware for strong-smell gardenia and put it in kitchen to refresh disgusting smell from cooking. The bunch of rose is suitable for bedroom and create romantic atmosphere. How can we cope with this beautiful bunch? It is funny that he cuts a water-empty plastic bottle to a half and pours water so as to keep balance as arrange the rose in this man-made vase. He is so smart. After all that we have done, I must say goodbye to him because it spends much my spare time-fortunately my Japanese workmate Fumiko is doing something for me at the florist. Somehow his behaviors give me a chance to have some curiosity. Why does he buy rose actually he lives alone on the face of his bed that is only used one side. Will he call a prostitute since there is a popular pole-dancing bar nearly? ...That’s none of my business.

Wow! I find some ones are taking a film beside our florist when I get to our florist. Huge and long cinematograph car, scenery with 10 meters square flowers, and different sizes of backcloth. Does that mean I will not be busy because area around our florist is blocked? Hope to get confirmation as quick as possible from Emma who works morning shift. She tells me she guesses they will need another two hours to finish their work from now on. That’s fine. At that time George give us a call and let Emma check how much money we have got in our mystery box. But why he doesn’t let Emma tell me what Emma is doing. So stupid! It is impossible I have no sense what Emma is doing beside me within only a-few-meters space. What does George mean? He is worrying the thing that I might steal his money? Ridiculous! Why does he always like doubting anyone just like ever he looked into Emma from 100 meters away to want to know whether Emma was lazy? Really a shortsighted small-business-man! It is so apparent what he wants to do. But I predict he cannot become a man who can run big business if he look on his staffs with this kind of incredulity. Well…forget it and don’t let this sort of disgusting thing destroy my good mood.

After Emma leaving, I think I should make it clear what time they will finish on earth. No matter how George does treat me, I should get to know anything that could bring business loss especially we’ve never been told. That is my obligation as an employee and I should let my boss know anything happened. Then I ask one female staff and get the answer that they will end at the end of the day. Gee! Jesus Christ! Gosh! That means we are likely to loss our customer today. Then I tell the lady I want to communicate with her manager because we never got any information from anyone. Who will pay our business loss? Immediately a guy comes over and asks me what I need. He promises me he tries to connect with the manager ASAP after he understands our situation. A good guy! 15 minutes later a lady with formal clothes walks to me and introduces herself. She is Jane Smith and takes charge this task. Very luckily she would like to help me and leave her mobile phone number. What is more, I get to know council manager has responsibility for it and should have told us before. OK, I have done what I can do as an employee. At Lenovo I was trained how to do with professional attitude and thinking on my role. After that I report to George what have happened and what I suggest. Now the thing he can do is to communicate with Jane who is the only person we can get compensation.  

Can imagine how horrible expression on George. Actually he is easy to get angry at a little trouble. Two weeks ago he called police station because a guy leaned his car. The policemen went crazy after they clarified what happened. Definitely George was fussy. Knowing his character very clearly, I ring him and tell him what have happened and what I have done. But he is also overreacting. Shouting and shouting and even calling police station. Sometimes he really cannot control himself even through he is 43 years old. I don’t care his attitude because that is not my fault. It is better he is going to call Jane right away. After 5 minutes I get George’s call and he lets me negotiate with Jane to manage to get $500 for our loss according to $200 per hour. That is a little exaggerated but I should follow what he said. Then I put through Jane’s phone number and talk to her our requirement just like a representation. At that moment I find my English get improved when I discuss and argue with someone. Unsuccessfully! The next step is to let George communicates with her directly. Finally they agree to buy $300-value flowers and move away 100 meters so that customers can get through. From George’s voice I can feel he is not so angry actually he never comes down. How easy for him to earn money just stay at home but I am so busy for this thing. Unfair! Oh well. Later the funny thing is 3 police women come to our florist and ask me who have called them and how it is going. I say to them with smile, ’that is George my boss, don’t worry about him.’ As if those beautiful women understood what I mean then left with lovely expression straight away.

It is not ending. Almost all staffs working for taking a film would make a smile to me when they pass trough our florist. Someone ask me, ’you are Sally?’ Someone ask me, ‘how long have you been here?’ or ‘what time will shut?’ ‘What time will you finish?’…… after a while, Jane come back with another manager Ashley who is in charge of expense control, she says to Ashley,’ she is Sally and she called me.’ My god! Sally is so popular. Some one I don’t his name would actively tell me they are taking an American commercial TV advertisement and the reason why they choose this space because it is cheaper. ‘The actress is Australia girl….’ Wowwwww! She is gorgeous and stunning.

Very ridiculous some customers excitedly ask me whether I am in the view. Impossible! I never think and don’t want. I remember I was not exciting at Lenovo when I met Ziyi Zhang who is now very famous at the moment the film GEISHA is showing in OZ. Ha ha ha… I am not inexperienced girl. 

Today is Friday and on 13^th Jan- many western persons think it could be spooky devil. Although it is a sort of temporal opinion, any kind of bad luck might happen for me that the one absolutely believes superstition. No one can say what will happen except Buddha has right to determine all. So I have been in a little bit fear and trembling and are guessing how much probability of mishap is. Oh well don’t let something that I cannot predict at all influences my mood. Go for working now. That will be a busy day.

It is right evil Friday. Just now we were angry with what Phillip’s boss had done because the guy fired him for the reason that Phillip answered the phone during the working time. Actually that was not totally Phillip’s fault. He had let his colleague continuing his ongoing work before he got his phone call. That was unfair and was a kind of racism because he is a Chinese. The phone was very important for him and from the American company that he was interviewed the day before yesterday. His position just lost was bindering assistant which was only casual job in our student era. In our hearts he should hunt a job that related his major-IT since he has got master of information technology at Sydney University somehow he should develop his career path along this direction. No regret for the labour job.

A loss may turn out to be a gain. Get the phone from Phillip, he excitedly tells me he is hired as HELP-DESK by that American company-Dow Corning Company. My goodness! It is so great. How desirable we are to get a decent job as a well-educated one. I cannot count how many times I have dreamed to go back the missing time of being office lady. Although I’ve never discriminated labour job, it is really inconsistent for my figure and personality to do that. What is more, we spent our huge cost of opportunity to choose this road not to want to be a labour in western country. Now my husband achieves it.

I get to say what he had got is contributed to my decision70 percent. Not blow myself. Since we met, I have decided all whether on career or on life whether it is correct or not because I am too independent to hear other’s voice. That is partly from my personality but not good in some degree so that someone think I am stubborn. My mum extremely hates it. But my persistence is helpful on some occasion. For example, in order to go overseas I left words which made my husband still despair-‘we will divorce if you don’t want to follow me overseas’. Studying overseas had been my dream since I was 20 years particularly saw my 60% high-school classmates went to America one by one. Probably my high school is key high school in Beijing and most students are excellent and outstanding so most our classmates hoped to study in U.S one day at the high-school time. They made it but I was still in China. Unfortunately it became more and more difficult for Chinese students to study in U.S. Then I got to here for my long-time dream and that was the reason why I made this decision regardless of my marriage and job development in China. I cannot forget my mum’s expression when she knew my plan. She looked happy but very sorry in her heart however she was awareness that nothing can stop her daughter. In the other side, my husband and I would change our lives and enrich our experiences. I believe anything you have done could be value and meaningful on some point or someday. It can be proved from what we have gone through.

Phillip’s major, IT, was not determined by himself but his persistent wife because I believed this area should have more opportunities in Australia and be suitable for him the guy doesn’t like communicating with others. In fact Phillip doesn’t like this specialty even though he got some HD or D in his courses under my pressure. After graduation he insisted not to do work related with IT, then I used the stick and the carrot so as to let him give up his former major-engineering that he had engaged in 7 years in a Japanese company including one-year-working experience in Japan. How horrible it is for a husband to have a wife like me. But he got his first job here after sending the only resume. He is lucky guy and I have to admit he is excellent whether on language after all he can speak Japanese, English and Mandarin or technology both engineering and IT. More importantly, his wife is helping him design his life. Haha Haha…….

I am not sure our milestone comes to us at this stage. Apparently I feel a little bit despair in my mind because I am still in the period of looking for a job that I want although I had better job and higher salary than Phillip’s in China especially I don’t think my ability is lower than his. Is that envious? Ridiculous! Virtually I know a more important thing should be considered in my deep heart……I need to create equality between male and female otherwise something terrible might happen. Why can’t my personality be gentle like my appearance? Hate myself!

According to report by TV newsreader, Jan 1 2006 is the hottest day in Sydney’s 100-year history. Probably temperature has reached 43 degree at daytime or more. In the morning Yoyo gives me a call and tells me that she wants to have dumpling. That’s ok because I don’t like bringing any disappointment to my friend. Then I delightedly go to Coles to buy soft drink or something like delicious foods. My god! The door is closed with the sign ‘today is closed’, but there was no notice yesterday so I have thought this supermarket would open today. What the hell they are ruining our meal? Now what I can do is to ring Bruce and let him buy pork and particularly Coke that is his only drink he never has had water since he came to OZ. Phillips certainly teases at me for insisting Coles is definitely open. All of them are laughing at me at the point that I still think Australian shops must open on New Year day although it might be closed at New Year’s Eve after I have been here more than two years. Is that my fault? I hate holiday which makes me not to eat what I want.

Nothing can stop us to have yummy dumplings. Fortunately other stuff for making dumplings can be found in our fridge, ready-made pastry, leek and shrimp meat…. Let us begin. Obviously I am chief labor because no one looked really know how to make dumplings except Phillip knows a little how to stir dumpling filling. What a nasty weather! Five minutes later I have already been so wet and felt sweat is streaming down from my head to back. Normally upstairs kitchen is hotter than living room and sitting room downstairs. That gang of disgusting guys only chats at the coolest place without caring whether I am going to die at the hottest day. I am typical Chinese woman with excellent characters such as hard-working, endurance and virtuous. Don’t complain anything and it is better to try my best to finish all preparation and escape to cooler world. Wowwwwwww! How beautiful they are. That is what I have done. We are celebrating New Year with Chinese traditional way. Hopefully it will be lucky year for me especially I after follow the superstition that tiger girl should wear crystal in 2006.

This is the third time to attend friend’s wedding in Sydney. Warner and Michill who likes people call her Michill rather than Michelle finally get married today-they have gone through so tough period after Warner had finished his first marriage due to his former wife betrayal. Someone think Michill did not have sensible decision when she being with Warner. I totally disagree. What a kind and honest guy Warner is! Especially he is smart and good at software design and even finds a job in North Sydney. His nickname is ‘computer expert’ and he got several HD scores at university. It doesn’t seem very important for Michill how many times his husband has had marriage, but holding her current happiness and beloved husband. We are all moved when this pair follows what wedding presider says during the ceremony-especially the time that they exchange wedding ring. Then the new couple takes some photos at Victoria Park beside Sydney University meanwhile we their friends enjoy and witness the moment they have.

The bad thing is I cannot completely put myself in the whole process because of my pain of my feet. For attending the wedding ceremony, I have to wear a high-heel shoes that I’ve never touched it at least 4 years. The shoes are absolutely beautiful with purple color and particularly matched with what I dress today. But I am not getting my leg and feet in the sock so that my feet would tightly touch the shoes every single step I take. Jesus! I feel my feet are burning and I go mad to long for taking the shoes off as soon as possible when others are enjoying how the new couple shows their happiness during taking photos. The only thing I want to do is running back home and put on my comfy slippers straightaway. Why are they wasting so much time on Victoria Park? I remember a piece of report that studies show one in 10 women will put up with pain of uncomfortable shoes if they looked good. I am no exception - but I hate it.

I am so happy to get to Turrella station where I live closely, but I will have to spend 15 minutes to walk back home. It will be longer way for me today than before. Actually I cannot walk a distance over 5 meters now. What can I do at that time? Then I take off shoes without hesitation after I let other passengers just get off the train pass me and fall behind them a few meters- almost they won’t take notice me whatever I do. Oh my god! So many water blisters on my feet and they keep even on both sides. That is what I should deserve for beauty. Carrying my feet on my hand, I directly walk barefoot to where I live. Gee! The ground is so hot although it is 25 degree forecasted. It is the first time in my life to walk barefoot on the road- ignoring the eyes passes by. One of a lady who lives not far away from our house said to me, ‘it is better for you to take off uncomfortable shoes.’ Absolutely correct! She can understand my feeling maybe she had the same situation. I could not go for anywhere even walk upstairs to take my favorite ice-cream. It makes me remember Anne’s suffering from her BLOG- Her poor feet and her beautiful ivory shoes that drive her crazy.         

Another horrible summer for me! Every single summer since I came here I have had to fight with disgusting mosquitoes let into our house by uncountable times since house owner forgets to close the door. As if these hateful mosquitoes only liked female particularly O-style-blood woman just like me. They would have rich festival and leave their marks of kiss everywhere on my body at night then I have to deal with extreme itchy skin with all Chinese medicine I have-desperately no effect I get but go on suffering oppressive itch probably I have resistance to drug I use. Recently there are many pimples that appear on my body and are totally different mosquitoes bite even I have used electric mosquito destroyer at night. My husband is very surprised why I am so loved by mosquitoes and from another angle he is happy to be more likely to have a good dream.

The day before yesterday I suddenly found the original killer that made me in this situation, it liked a sort of so-called little-bite-people insect and its body was so small that I almost could not identify it when it was crouching on my skin. Firstly I thought that was residue of chocolate I was eating, then I wanted to flip it to the floor and strangely it moved a little then I had to pinch it. To my surprise, it became a bit blood. Oh my god! It was apparent I am feeding this no-name insect. I hated it so much but got confused where it came from. Last morning I let my hubby hang my quilt and our sheet outside and hoped ultraviolet radiation could kill the others hidden in my quilt cover. At night I got every piece of skin covered although I felt so warm and the quilt was still with solar smell and warmth. It would be great to be covered with this warm quilt if it was at winter night. I was not clear how situation would change by this way.

Fortunately pimples are getting better after my special method- scratch it first and then spread Chinese medicine. During that time I experience different feeling both a kind of pain after pimple is damaged by scratching and another kind of pain caused by putting medicine on damaged skin. What a strange woman like enjoy diverse pain torture. Yes it is. I would rather put up with pain than itch.        

Amy likes this job-selling flowers, Fumiko love it too, so do I. Not only can I get no-too-much money that makes me buy some stuff I like, but also I can experience some funny things I’ve never met. So I become more gossipy since I was engaged to be flower girl. Last morning when I was busy pruning the rose, I got a strange call from a guy. He told me he wanted to send a bunch of rose to his wife Christina with teary sound. From his voice, I supposed that he had just had a fighting with his wife and he wanted to make an apology by romantic way to remedy their gap. Then I particularly wanted to help him and tried my best to arrange the flowers to damn well beautiful. Fortunately Amy was still beside me and she decided to deliver this important present, more important she could get a chance to see what the guy’s wife looks like. According to what he said, where his wife was working should be not far away from our florist. Waiting is terrible thing especially you are curious to know what will happen. Twenty minutes later, Amy came back with bizarre expression. She told me most people around were laughing when she gave the bunch flowers to receptionist. Gosh! That could be a gambado. But why did the guy look so sad? Is that true that Christina’s colleagues had got used to it that the couple always had fighting?

Another funny thing I want to say. This morning a man chose a bunch bouquet and asked me whether I could provide delivery for him. Without hesitation, I gave him certain reply but needed to charge him $5. At first, he didn’t want to pay because he thought the distance was so short just beside our florist. OK, ‘I can call our delivery company if you want but they will charge you $8’ I told him. Actually delivery is our extra work. He would like to accept former choice and wrote down the address that was ANZ bank which was opposite our florist and the customer’s name, Anna Green. Before my leaving, he particularly indicated that there were two Anna in ANZ bank, the one I should deliver to was senior solicitor. Then I took the flowers with his message to directly walk to there. At the gate, security helped me to dial Anna’s office phone number, but nobody was there. He let me leave the flowers, however I couldn’t do it because I found the words of the message-Lunch 2:00. It was nearly 2:00 when I watched the time. What can I do? I insisted to try again and told the security detail. At that moment, I hoped Anna could get this message as quick as possible because I knew the guy was waiting for the reply outside. The security seemed to understand this situation and he rang Anna’s colleague to manage to connect Anna. Maybe the security looked forward to it Anna would have date with someone. I was such a gossipy creature, meanwhile the security was no exception. Finally security got confirmation that Anna was at her seat then let me go upside to 10th level. Wow! That is Anna. I was not sure she is the one every single man will like. She was a little surprised when she took the flowers. I run out of the building and wanted to find the guy who gave this task. In fact he was not waiting out of the building. Where was he? Can’t he want to know the result? All right, I got to return where I was working. My god! He popped in at the time I was back to our florist. I described him how happy Anna was when she got the flowers at once and wished him to have a nice lunch. …… What’s going on with him?

Flowers especially roses stand for happiness, love, and all romantic things. Look, a couple standing in front of our florist is indulged their kissed without caring about other persons’ eyes around and even our existence. That is real passion. We cannot help breathing to share their love and wish them best. This job is changing me and my life, which makes me become more optimistic and easier to forget depression even through sometimes I could be insomnia thanks to overtired work. I begin to more appreciate others’ advantages and accept local’s life style more and more although I had ever been in sadness and even hesitated my decision two years ago. It is truly good for me and my future here. Selling flowers is really my milestone in Australia despite that it is not my ideal job or a decent job in my mind. Now my life philosophy is not for working but for happiness, which might be influenced by white evil or someone I don’t know.

Not only is my personality changed, also my brain becomes smarter. The thing happened yesterday and proved my benefit-quick response. Speaking with customer, I paid attention a man with dirty clothes taking our flower, named heliconia that is $3 each. Gee! Holly crap! What is he doing? Stealing! Meanwhile the customer I served got to know what he was doing. Customer and I contacted with the eyes. The pilferer looked at a loss when he knew we noticed him and came over to me then murmured something that I couldn’t understand at all. Maybe he was finding some words to cover his embarrassment or he really a patient just run away from mental problem hospital as he said. Who knows? He only tried to get the flower in his hand but didn’t want to pay. Actually I had a little bit frightening after all I was not sure he was normal or not then I pretended to be calm and told him there was no free flower. He continued to beg me using confused words to persuade me even get a little sympathy from me. All of sudden, I got a good idea then gave him a dying light purple rose to exchange our heliconia that would be loved by many customers. If the flower kept in his hand, it will be valueless and lose its flash. It was lucky the dirty-clothes guy agreed with my suggestion and handed back the fresh heliconia. On that occasion I almost couldn’t breathe because I worried he would have any behaviour I couldn’t imagine. Ok, that is over. The customers looked at him scampering away with the rose and smiled to me. I didn’t know they were appreciating my wittiness or laughing at the guy’s strange action.

Through this matter, I bear in mind that keep calm is very important whatever you face. I will make it.

‘You’re beautiful’ is a very popular song recently on video hit-Jamse Blunt sings it with magnet voice. I am moved when I am hearing the lyric-‘I saw you in the crowded place. You are beautiful. That is true’. As a matter of fact, I haven’t been in the scenario that a girl has a dream to get involve in romantic feeling with her loved guy for many years- but I can find it now. For love, it will be not faded with the time gone even become more eternal if the lovers fall in love indeed and try to keep it fresh with their hearts and minds. I still remember what I said to my girl friend before, ‘that will be great when my husband and me stroll on the sand hand in hand during we are over 80 years old.’ I believe it is best beautiful time for every single couple.

But there is always gap between realities with dreams even though I try my best to diminish it. The environment is changed and not what you have imagined. Your thinking is influenced by something you have gone through or you are facing. It is likely that you are not in your hand, but at other’s hand. What you want is out of control, you are only looking at it is warding off but nothing you can do. Well…you totally get yourself lost. The horrible thing is that you would rather being a coward without worry about anything will happen in the future than a brave person doing something like that changes your current life or trying to figure out what’s going on. Just have no intelligence and mind. Are you a normal adult? You are waiting for something would be never predicted.